For many of us as parents we have gotten to a point of absolute desperation. Literal or figurative “death sentences” over our children, behaviors we do not know how to handle, situations that are impossible. I have been to that point more than once in my journey as a mom. There are many times as a mama that I have felt so helpless to “help” my child/children.
From the early days with my little Hannah, when she would cry out for help and everything I did made it worse. With Matthew in tears when he could not get out of bed and was homebound. I tried to comfort him, I could serve him what ever he needed, I could encourage him, but I could not make it better. Often I felt like everything I did just made everything worse.
I got to a point where literally I had to surrender to something bigger than me…I fully surrendered to God, over and over. And he was faithful everytime! It was not easy let me tell you to just let go of my own striving, doing, figuring it out and just rest in God to lead me. But HIS promises “Let not your hearts be troubled, believe in GOD” (John 14: 1) and “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowled him and he will make your path streight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) became what I stood on. I surrendered my kids and their health to the Lord and asked HIM to lead me. And that is just what HE did and continues to do.
This walk in surrenedering to God has been a marathon not a sprint. But I want to share a few stories from our journey to realease HOPE to you that what God has done for us He WILL do for you and your family as well.
When Hannah was 5 she had to wear casts on both legs from her toes to knee and then knee braces that went from ankle to thigh (at bedtime) to stretch out the tendons in her leg from years of tippy toe walking. Needless to say the pain was intense. We would give her doese of Tylenol with Ibuprophen to try to reduce the pain and keep the brases on, but it was not working. Each night was a battle that ended in no braces and terribly frusterated parents and kiddo. After an office visit the doc told us if Hannah did not keep the braces on they would need to give her botox shots to relax teh muscles to stretch. INJECT my daughter with botchalism? SERIOUSLY?? No, those braces were gonna stay on at all costs. Well, that night we did everything. I finally had to leave the room and let my husband deal with it. I threw myself on my bed sobbing and listening to my daughter in the roomj next door yell, scream, and cry as my husband held her down in bed. I cried out to God and fully surrenered Hannah to HIM! A peace fell over me. I walked into the bedroom and said, “If GOD is going to heal her, he can heal her without braces!” I took the braces off and threw them in the closet never to be worn again and we all went to bed. However, the next week as we drove to the doc I was actually sick to my stomach knowing we had not done the braces and thinking we would have to do these injections I did not want to do. The doctor measured Hannah’s range of motion not once, but three times and then said, “Hannah you must have done an awesome job keeping those braces on. You gained 12 degrees of motion, that is the most I have ever seen. Good job mom and dad!” We sat there shell shocked and Hannah piped in, “Oh we didn’t do the stupid brace. I just asked Jesus if I could not get the shot and he said yes!” The doctor looked at us with a blank stare. We confrimed what she said. The just kind of sat there not knowing what to do. God showed up and was faithful!!
Another time I found myself just having to fully surrender all to God was with Matthew. One early Saturday morning I was awaiting MRI results and I went to Matthews health file the results were in. The results made my heart pause a beat. The report said that he had a pineal cyst in the middle of is brain and a chari malformation. When I looked these things up on the internet, I was almost unable to breathe. Sitting along on the couch images and thoughts flooded my mind…brain surgery, cancer, etc… Paul got up and made a cup of coffee. I could not even speak, it was as if my voice was completely gone. I told him I was going to go for a run. Out the door I went. I cranked up my music and began to run. I literally put my phone on random and asked the Lord to play a song to speak to me what this all was… The song that played on RANDOM was YOU CAME, which is a song about how basically Jesus showed up, that was followed by a s song SETTLED basically about it be FINISHED, then as I rounded the bend on the lake a large bald eagle flew overhead and began to circle. (The Lord always confirms what He is speaking to me through eagles…more on that later) . With that a peace fell over me and I knew Jesus was going to show up and that this whole BRAIN thing was settled/finished! A week later in the chief neurosergeon at the U of M’s office we were told by him that he did not have cancer and that the good news was that he did not need brain surgery but the bad news was that we had not found the root to what was making him sick (more on that later). We were overjoyed witht he news! God was faithful once again!
What has rose up within me? What did experiences like these teach me? A muscle that I did not even know I had. A trust I did not even know was possible. That muscle was surrender! Surrender means to yield (something in my case someone) to power of another. That another was God, because I literally could do nothing!
In both situations above I got to a point where all I could do is believe in something/somone bigger than me to take care of the circumstances I could not do anything about. Both times God showed up! Totally and completely. Over the years there have been many many more circumstances in which I had to totally surrender it to the Lord and let him work and show me the path! Every single time HE is faithful. So, now my parenting has competley shifted. I now fully surrender my children to the Lord. KNOWING He loves them more than I do! Fully confident in the FACT that He will lead me to the “what” to do and give me complete peace in the process. KNOWING He will give me wisdom in the moment I need it to shape and meld the hearts of my children. Not only in their health have I come to rely on surrendering to the Lord but also in all areas of my parentng. Things like correction, direction, or walk along side of them as they make mistakes and have to clean up the messes they have made in their lives! Full surrender over and over has been my major weapon, in keeping my joy, peace, and sanity as a mama!
If you already surrender these mama circumstances to the Lord I would love for you to share any story you have below and what happened as a result! If you have never done this before I encourage you to do it! Think of a situation where you have no control over that circumstance with your child…surrender it to God. Then watch and listen as He guides you! I can’t wait to hear your testimony when you do this! It will bring your mama journey to a whole new level!
For many years we have been facing health journeys in our family. It has many times left me asking “God why us”, “Why soooo many health issues”, “Why”? However, with every journey I have gained more faith, more wisdom and more tenacity to fight for victory and freedom from these health issues. The wisdom I have gained and the FAITH I have that GOD will give us the solution to bring healing (if not instant) is now what fuels me in helping others walk in vicgtory as well! Today I am not going to share the journey of my daughter (freedom from aspergers type journey), I am not going to share the journey of my son (freedom from mold toxicity and genetic polymophisisms) today I cam going to share the journey of this young man, Mikey, freedom from PANDAS and ADHD!
Mikey’s Story: No Longer a Life Sentence of PANDAS and ADHD
Michael came into the world by storm. The cord was wrapped around his neck and the nurses literally pushed him out. He literally flew out and the doc caught him. He placed him on my tummy: blue and quiet. I said, “He is blue and quiet.” The doc said, “Give him a minute he will be fine.” A moment later he began to cry and his color returned to him. My sweet boy had entered the world.
When we got home my new baby did not sleep for an amount of time. After a week I was exhausted and took him to the chiro. The chiro we saw said, “Wow, there is something up. You will need to go see Dr. Spicer, a pediatric specialist at the Chiro college.” So, off we went. Through her we found out Mikey was having issues with gluten. So, I quit eating gluten. From that point on he slept and became the perfect babay. Mikey was a perfect infant, a little reflux, but adujstements took care of that instantly!
Through out his early years he was prone to strep throat. But, we just did antibiotics and he would be fine. And being into natural stuff we always rebuilt his gut after the anitbiotics. All seemed fine, until second grade. I had decided to homeschool him that year. He was having a hard time sitting in class in first grade and rushed through everything. He had wanted to be homeschooled because everyone else had been in the past. So, we decided this would be the year. As it turned out between first and second grade his behavior became more and more irradiact, paying attention was next to impossible, he was unable to read, unable to write, had major fears creep in, sesory processing became a huge factor, and forgot all his math problems.
I took him to a natropath Dr. Barret in Minneapolis. We did some stuff for ADHD that I knew we were dealing with and I had already done alot prior to this appointment to address the ADHD issue but nothing helped. He was already on a GF diet and eating very healthy. Through a stool test she discovered his gut was filled with STREP! FIVE strains, I did not even know there were FIVE strains fo strep! A condition called PANDAS.
Here is a description of common PANDAS sympotms (from Molecular Labs):
Physical Symptoms of PANS and/or PANDAS:
Vocal/motor tics of any type, severity or duration
Sensory or motor abnormalities
Behavioral Symptoms of PANS and/or PANDAS:
Personality changes at home or at school
Anxiety or unusual fears, separation anxiety
Emotional instability and/or depression
Irritability, aggression or rage
Behavioral or developmental regression
Deterioration in school performance
Inability to concentrate
Worrying about harm
Changes in handwriting
All the bold ones are what Michael had developled suddenly! That is the key with PANDAS it is sudden! So, we worked with Dr. Barret to kill the strep. We did herbs, supplment, tinksures, everything she had in her back pocket. And the strep continually came back. She suggested going to a medical doctor and try steroids paired with penicillin. So, we partnered with Dr. Bob Zajac, our pediatrician and did steroids paired with antibiotics. (2 rounds one stronger than the other), it still grew back. So, after battling a few years literally to kill this stuff. We literally began to pray over him that the stuff would die (we had prayed along the way, but this became very specific- not sure why we didn’t think of this sooner, lol) and after a kill we over innuclated his gut! We then did testing and it was gone! A few years of hard work, diet restrictions, and it was finished!
The road was often defeating, tiring, and overwhelming. Seeing your child struggle emmensly in school and everywhere they go because they are unable to regulate themselves, are overwhelmed by stimulus, accidently got gluten (which is like a match to fire on gasoline when you have PANDAS). But we hung in and did not give up! Jer 29:11 kept me going on this one with Mikey. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That is exactly what He has done for my Mikey and what He will do your child too!
What works for each person is different because everyones body is different. So, if your child is struggling with ADHD or PANDAS please know there is an answer. You just need to pray for wisdom and the correct people to walk with you on the journey! God is faithful and He will lead, open doors, and show you the way to healing! He has done it over and over and over for us and He will do it for you too!
Currently PANDAS is no longer a battle for us! We keep Mikey’s gut well populated with good bugs to keep those bad ones at bay! We also use *VIVI and *CX3 (along with *MBC- powerful probiotic) from systemic if he gets a sore throat to kill the strep right away. Sometimes the PANDAS does seem to raise its head after a bout of strep throat, but it is so obvious and we keep him on the *VIVI and *CX3 until his behavior returns to normal again! We are still in the process of rebuilding his reading and writing through tutoring. His attention is much better but we also support that through chiropractic, supplementation, & diet.
There is freedom from these things the world tells “Nothing can be done about!” We are a living testimony to it. God is bigger and knows the path for us to take!
In Health & Freedom,
*VIVI and CX3 are suppelements from Systemic Formulas
“God this is a mistake! You most definitely gave this sweet little girl the wrong mama!”
Have you ever found yourself saying that? (or feeling it?) There have been many times on our journey that I have convinced myself that God made a mistake making me the mom of my oldest child. I felt like I did everything wrong. I felt I could not help her. I felt I could not make her happy or meet her needs. Punishment didn’t work. Yelling didn’t work. Bribing didn’t work. Meds didn’t work. I remember crying just as much as she did each and every day. And that was a lot. And then the tears just stopped. The hurting was so deep inside of me I just turned off my emotions. Got through the day. And breathed a sigh of relief when she fell asleep, knowing that we both had made it though another day.
As she slept I would sit on the edge of her bed, feeling so helpless and like a complete failure as a mom. There she would lay peace filled, beautiful, innocent, and content. Why were the days so tumultuous? What was I doing wrong? I would tell God everyday that He should have given her to someone who could be the mom she needs. As the storm raged on, I grew deeper and deeper into a pit of despair and desperation.
I remember going to a moms group at our church. It had been a terrible morning with all my children, I had three by then and pregnant with my fourth. I sat down at my table completely depleted and basically numb, yet my insides spinning out of control. I just did not know what I was going to do. I remember Robin (a dear friend now), getting up and giving her little “encouraging ditty” to the moms. My mind was just negating everything she said. She then said, “If anyone wants prayer I will be in the back.”
I went running back. I burst into a pile of tears, unable to even speak. I finally told her what was going on: My daughter (age 6) had been diagnosed with anxiety, ocd, depression, add, sensory processing disorder, tippy toe walker, and more… That on a weekly basis we met with a medical dr., psychologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, physical therapist, and an occupational therapist. I told her that I had worked with at risk kids at the Boys and Girls Club, taught in inner city Minneapolis, and had years of experience with really difficult children, which gave me a huge tool box of things to “do” with “behavior”. NONE of them worked with my daughter. She was melting down and violent daily, multiple times per day. She cried all the time. She was rarely a joyful child. My heart was broken. I told her I felt like a complete failure and that GOD had given her to the wrong mom! (Read our story here)
Robin very calmly, lovingly, free from judgment listened to everything I had to say. She then said, “God knew exactly who to give her to. He knew you were the PERFECT mom for her. He knew that you had the strength to stand with her and fight for her. To perervere until you find the keys that unlock her and release freedom to her. He will give you the tools you need just for her! You were picked as the ONLY one on the planet that can be her mother.” For some reason this really hit me. I think it was that she was so genuine and loving I actually had a spark of hope and believed what she was saying.
We continued to talk and she started sharing about natural health, chiropractors, diets, and things that God created to bring healing. I was totally clueless on it all. But, a door was opened. I began to research and explore. As I did, I found answers, “the keys” that brought healing to my daughter.
Looking back Robin was so right! GOD did know that I was the perfect mama for my sweet girl. He knew I would not give up! He know I would trust Him with her. And each and every day I still rely on him to help me parent her as well as my four other children. I am the PERFECT mama for these five.
They are mine and no one can do what God put me in their lives to do. Yes, I have made mistakes. Don’t get me wrong. Lots of them and some BIG ones along the way. But, I have learned from those mistakes as have my children. We journey together!
BE encouraged today that you are the MAMA for your babies. You are the only one that can do what they need. You are perfect! God gave them to you because He trusts you and knows you will be the one that brings these little ones into their destiny!
Blessings to all you mama! Even if it doesn’t seem like you’re the right mama. Be assured you are. Seek God for wisdom and He will give it to you, guaranteed!!!
Make Kale Chips:
Wash kale and strip from stem
Toss in gapeseed or avocado oil
Put on cookie sheet in single layer and sprinkle with pink salt
Bake at 325 until crunchy- not burneds (about 10-15 mintutes)
2 shallots or a small onion
3 garlic cloves
½ c. organic apple cider vinegar
⅓ c. maple syrup
1 tsp. coarse mustard
1 tsp. regular mustard
1 c. olive oil
Place all ingredients into a blender. Puree until smooth! Enjoy!
Wow, I have been off line for a long time. However, I feel the Lord is asking me to pick it up again. It is going to look a little different but I hope you enjoy it all the same.
Two years ago the Lord told me to “Stop doing Kingdom Kids Nutrition and rest.” So, I did. Now resting with 5 children took a bit of time to master. A short time after that we came into a health journey with our oldest son that landed him in bed for about two years. It was actually in this time that I have learned what he meant by “rest”. It was a season of learning to hone in on His voice and rest in His wisdom and timing to lead to my sons healing. I will share more on his his journey as we go! This season was a season of pulling back from everything, completely focusing on Jesus, and getting my son well at any cost. I spend many hours praying and crying out to God in frusteration, fear, despertion to heal my son or send me the wisdom to know what to do to get him free. And the Lord poured out. It was not over night, it was a long yet fruitful journey. It was like a puzzle, in which I was given one piece at a time which brought full restoration to my son, in which I am so greatful! Now is the time …
The shift is here…
The websits is going to get a little bit of a face lift, the focus will be on living a fruitul lifetsyle that brings joy, life, and health! The key word here is lifestyle!! We as a family have learned the importance of fueling our bodies well with not only food, but also balancing rest/being on the go, joy in being purposful to have familytime together, and for me as a mama pouring into friendship that fill me and sharpen me as me, and me as mom! So, this will be the focus of my website. I am going to be writing on everyday parenting (sharing real life in the moment and from the past parenting snapshots), every day eating (of course delicious healthy family approved recipes- with little to no commentary- drives me nuts when I go to a recipe and have to scroll 20 pages to get the recipe, I just want the recipe!) and the every day mom (thriving vs. surving as a mama) and thriving in the public school (our journey in the public school, the world of sports, and beyond- teaching our kids to carry the light)! There may be other things that pop up but that is where I feel to begin!
I am excited to be back writing and sharing. Hope it brings hope, health, joy and life to you and your family!
Please let me know what you want to hear about! Comment below if there are topics you would like me to address, health questions/diet/parenting/thriving vs. surviving motherhood/behavior/dealing with kids friends….I will happily share what I have with you!
Here are the coffee creations I have promised you!
Camel Machiatto: Fill coffee cup about 1/2 with ogranic heavy cream and a squirt of Sweet Leaf Drops Carmel. Use frother and froth until bubblyPlace cup under Keurig and run 1 pod.
The coffee will drip to bottom and raise up the cream to the top! If no Keurig then just pour coffee slowly into the middle of the cup!
Chocolate Peppermint Latte: Michelle’s Deliciousness
Pour about a cups worth of coffee and add desired about of cream into a bullet or blender container. Add a scoop of Bone Broth Vanilla protein powder (get it here . ). Add NutriDyn chocolate peppermint greens. Add MTC oil about 1 T. and puree until well blended- just a minute or so
Fill coffee cup about 1/4 full with organic heavy cream. Begin to whip with frother (Get it here ) continue to whip as you pour in brewed coffee til cup if full.
Bullet Coffee (Kelli’s fav)
1 T. MTC Oil, 1T. Organic Coconut Oil, 1 scoop Axe Collegen powder (get it here . ), 1 cup brewed coffee. Put all ingredients into blender or bullet and blend for a min or so.
Bullet Coffee (origional)
1T. grassfed butter, 1T. coconut oil, 1 scoop Axe Collegen powder, 1 cup brewed coffee, Put all ingredietns into a blender or bullet and blend for a min or so
*Pour any of the above over ice for an iced coffee
*Sub coconut milk for heavy cream to make them all dairy free
*Add Whip: Whip heavy cream in bullet or mixer til firm points form, add stevia drops or sweet luvs to add sweetness if desired. Top you coffee in the goodness!
Can it be true cookies can heal your body? Sure is! This recipe is adapted from Against All Grains Chocolate Chip Cookies (https://againstallgrain.com/2012/08/29/real-deal-chocolate-chip-cookies/) . A few little changes make it sweetened naturally and then all the great protein and good fats they contain will nourish your body with every bite! Enjoy!
Cookies That Heal: Cellular Healing Chocolate Chip Cookies
Recipe type: Adapted from Against All Grains: Chocolate Chip Paleo Cookies (see that recipe here https://againstallgrain.com/2012/08/29/real-deal-chocolate-chip-cookies/)
Serves: 16 cookies
You will find vegan/dairy free options for these cookies as well below!
Put wet ingredients into food processor:
1 egg (for egg free use 3T. water mixed with 1 T. ground flax)
¼ c. Sweet Luvs (get it here https://www.amazon.com/Sweet-LUV-All-Natural-Sugar-Alternative/dp/B074PDDLR6)
2 t. Vanilla
¼ c. Kerry Gold or grassfed butter (for dairy free use coconut oil or ghee)
Whirl in food processor until creamy
Mix the following dry ingredients together in a bowl and then dump into food processor and process until well combined.
1.5 c. Almond Flour
½ t. Baking Soda (for egg free add 1 tsp)
½ t. Himalayan Sea Salt
2 T. Coconut Flour
Stir in Lily's (get it here https://www.vitacost.com) chocolate chips about ½ cup or amount desired
Roll into balls and place on parchment lined cookie sheet. Wet fingers with water and press down cookie balls into shape desired (they will not spread), bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until they are golden brown on the edges.