For many of us as parents we have gotten to a point of absolute desperation. Literal or figurative “death sentences” over our children, behaviors we do not know how to handle, situations that are impossible. I have been to that point more than once in my journey as a mom. There are many times as a mama that I have felt so helpless to “help” my child/children.
From the early days with my little Hannah, when she would cry out for help and everything I did made it worse. With Matthew in tears when he could not get out of bed and was homebound. I tried to comfort him, I could serve him what ever he needed, I could encourage him, but I could not make it better. Often I felt like everything I did just made everything worse.
I got to a point where literally I had to surrender to something bigger than me…I fully surrendered to God, over and over. And he was faithful everytime! It was not easy let me tell you to just let go of my own striving, doing, figuring it out and just rest in God to lead me. But HIS promises “Let not your hearts be troubled, believe in GOD” (John 14: 1) and “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowled him and he will make your path streight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) became what I stood on. I surrendered my kids and their health to the Lord and asked HIM to lead me. And that is just what HE did and continues to do.
This walk in surrenedering to God has been a marathon not a sprint. But I want to share a few stories from our journey to realease HOPE to you that what God has done for us He WILL do for you and your family as well.
When Hannah was 5 she had to wear casts on both legs from her toes to knee and then knee braces that went from ankle to thigh (at bedtime) to stretch out the tendons in her leg from years of tippy toe walking. Needless to say the pain was intense. We would give her doese of Tylenol with Ibuprophen to try to reduce the pain and keep the brases on, but it was not working. Each night was a battle that ended in no braces and terribly frusterated parents and kiddo. After an office visit the doc told us if Hannah did not keep the braces on they would need to give her botox shots to relax teh muscles to stretch. INJECT my daughter with botchalism? SERIOUSLY?? No, those braces were gonna stay on at all costs. Well, that night we did everything. I finally had to leave the room and let my husband deal with it. I threw myself on my bed sobbing and listening to my daughter in the roomj next door yell, scream, and cry as my husband held her down in bed. I cried out to God and fully surrenered Hannah to HIM! A peace fell over me. I walked into the bedroom and said, “If GOD is going to heal her, he can heal her without braces!” I took the braces off and threw them in the closet never to be worn again and we all went to bed. However, the next week as we drove to the doc I was actually sick to my stomach knowing we had not done the braces and thinking we would have to do these injections I did not want to do. The doctor measured Hannah’s range of motion not once, but three times and then said, “Hannah you must have done an awesome job keeping those braces on. You gained 12 degrees of motion, that is the most I have ever seen. Good job mom and dad!” We sat there shell shocked and Hannah piped in, “Oh we didn’t do the stupid brace. I just asked Jesus if I could not get the shot and he said yes!” The doctor looked at us with a blank stare. We confrimed what she said. The just kind of sat there not knowing what to do. God showed up and was faithful!!
Another time I found myself just having to fully surrender all to God was with Matthew. One early Saturday morning I was awaiting MRI results and I went to Matthews health file the results were in. The results made my heart pause a beat. The report said that he had a pineal cyst in the middle of is brain and a chari malformation. When I looked these things up on the internet, I was almost unable to breathe. Sitting along on the couch images and thoughts flooded my mind…brain surgery, cancer, etc… Paul got up and made a cup of coffee. I could not even speak, it was as if my voice was completely gone. I told him I was going to go for a run. Out the door I went. I cranked up my music and began to run. I literally put my phone on random and asked the Lord to play a song to speak to me what this all was… The song that played on RANDOM was YOU CAME, which is a song about how basically Jesus showed up, that was followed by a s song SETTLED basically about it be FINISHED, then as I rounded the bend on the lake a large bald eagle flew overhead and began to circle. (The Lord always confirms what He is speaking to me through eagles…more on that later) . With that a peace fell over me and I knew Jesus was going to show up and that this whole BRAIN thing was settled/finished! A week later in the chief neurosergeon at the U of M’s office we were told by him that he did not have cancer and that the good news was that he did not need brain surgery but the bad news was that we had not found the root to what was making him sick (more on that later). We were overjoyed witht he news! God was faithful once again!
What has rose up within me? What did experiences like these teach me? A muscle that I did not even know I had. A trust I did not even know was possible. That muscle was surrender! Surrender means to yield (something in my case someone) to power of another. That another was God, because I literally could do nothing!
In both situations above I got to a point where all I could do is believe in something/somone bigger than me to take care of the circumstances I could not do anything about. Both times God showed up! Totally and completely. Over the years there have been many many more circumstances in which I had to totally surrender it to the Lord and let him work and show me the path! Every single time HE is faithful. So, now my parenting has competley shifted. I now fully surrender my children to the Lord. KNOWING He loves them more than I do! Fully confident in the FACT that He will lead me to the “what” to do and give me complete peace in the process. KNOWING He will give me wisdom in the moment I need it to shape and meld the hearts of my children. Not only in their health have I come to rely on surrendering to the Lord but also in all areas of my parentng. Things like correction, direction, or walk along side of them as they make mistakes and have to clean up the messes they have made in their lives! Full surrender over and over has been my major weapon, in keeping my joy, peace, and sanity as a mama!
If you already surrender these mama circumstances to the Lord I would love for you to share any story you have below and what happened as a result! If you have never done this before I encourage you to do it! Think of a situation where you have no control over that circumstance with your child…surrender it to God. Then watch and listen as He guides you! I can’t wait to hear your testimony when you do this! It will bring your mama journey to a whole new level!